Naughty@Home

8 Reasons You Should Be Naked More Often

Recently, I ended up naked in front of a full-length mirror. It was an accident. Seriously, it was. I don’t walk around naked that much. Anyway, there I was, naked, in front of this mirror. And for some reason, I took a long moment, just to look. And it was weird. Because it occurred to me that I never do that. Which I guess is actually pretty normal. But the weird part was that I didn’t really know my own naked body. It was vaguely familiar, of course. I mean, I do take showers and stuff. But I almost never pay attention to it, except to give it some unhelpful critique or be surprised by how chubby it’s gotten in certain places. Actually, ever since I gained some weight, I’ve wanted to be naked even less. Especially when there’s no immediate sex involved. Standing in front of the mirror, I had a small epiphany. I should get to know my naked body. I should get good at being naked. Actually, everyone should. If I was a dictator, I’d mandate daily naked time. And free healthcare for all! And cake! But mostly naked time. Why? Here are some reasons…

1. This is you. Under all those clothes, this the way you actually look. The rest is a disguise. Isn’t it weird not to know your own naked body? It’s kind of weird. Sometimes I feel like I’m mostly a brain, and then there’s this body attached. This body that inevitably looks disproportionate in photos. This body that decided to get abruptly curvy recently, but which had before been kind of bony. My body seems less a wonderland, as John Mayer might sing, and more a mysterious wilderness that occasionally sprouts a strangely placed hair like a flag, thus declaring its eternal independence. But no matter how separate from your body you feel, you are your body. And it is you. You’re this weird body/brain combination—like some hybrid alien creature– no, like a person. So you should get to know yourself. Naked.

2. It’s more fun. I have been known to feel a little awkward about being naked. Like, sometimes if someone else is around but for some reason I have to change, I do that squirmy-inside-the-clothes dance that usually results in either a new outfit or me falling on my face in the locker room at the gym. But how much more fun is life when you feel good about being naked? A lot, I’m willing to bet. Not that you have to whip everything off in front of some strangers, but it’s better not to have to worry about them seeing something unflattering. How much more fun is it to feel like your naked body is flattering? SO MUCH MORE FUN.

3. Sex. This is a big one. And it’s better when you like the way you look naked, when you know what you look like naked, and so it’s not shocking, and when you are comfortable being naked. Otherwise, it can be really, really awkward. It can be “please just turn off the light before I take this robe off” awkward. It can be “wait, do you have a flashlight so I can find my way back to my robe” afterwards awkward. I hope it’s never that awkward.. But sex can definitely get pretty un-amazing when you’re worried about your body. And your body definitely has to be (at least relatively) naked for sex. For amazing sex, body confidence is an absolute necessity. And I’m assuming we all want to have amazing sex? Right? OK, good.

4. Clothes. The better you feel naked, the better you’ll feel in clothes. Because clothes won’t just be about hiding things, they’ll be about celebrating things. I want my clothes to be a celebration. Is that asking too much of them? I think not!

5. Because it’s there. Like Everest. But a lot less dangerous and snowy. I mean, mine isn’t snowy. If yours is, that’s totally fine. Our bodies are challenging, though. They’re complicated and disobedient and sometimes they feel like they need to be tamed. Sometimes they are an obstacle that needs to be overcome. Climbed, if you will. Like Mount Everest. Or maybe they just need to be appreciated more. That’s what I really think. So a little less like Mount Everest and a little more like a puppy. It just needs attention! Give it love and attention and it will reward you with feelings of happiness and comfort. And sex appeal.

6. Your body “flaws” won’t be as shocking. I was shocked to notice that I have back fat. It must have crept up on me. The other day I was typing on my laptop in a towel, right after showering, and I leaned back in my chair and caught a glimpse of my back in the upright mirror by the table. Oh, the horror that awaited me there! Was that a ROLL? As in, a cinnamon roll or some other doughy pastry? On my back? Why, God, why? Because that’s what happens when you’re not really skinny and you have skin on your back, apparently. It would not have been so shocking if I typed in the (partial) nude more often. Or just knew my naked body better. Then I would’ve been like, “Yep. Back fat. It’s a fact.” That reminds me—I’m totally craving a cinnamon roll. Those things are good.

7. You’ll know your real sizes. My boobs are generally a lie. I’m wearing a padded bra all the time. When I’d just started dating my husband, I had this horrible realization that the first time he saw me without a bra, he might be … underwhelmed. Or downright offended. “False advertising!” He was fine, but it made me think about the dramatic difference between my clothed and naked boobs, and I wondered why I was afraid of having breasts that were, um, the actual size of my breasts. Why am I afraid of that? Maybe in part it’s because I’m so unused to it. The unknown is scary. But my boobs don’t have to be unknown. I just have to take off my bra, and there they are. Like magic.

8. You’ll feel more comfortable in general. If you can walk around your apartment naked and happy, walking across a room in clothes is probably a piece of cake. If you can eat a piece of cake naked and happy (this might be my ultimate goal, in life), then you can definitely do anything. Liking yourself naked is liking yourself exposed, flawed, complicated, and undone. If you can like yourself like that, you can face the world proud and naked! Or just proud. With the confidence of a confident naked person.

So … do it! Stand naked in front of a mirror for a while. Do this more than once. Try walking around naked. Possibly eating cake. Have sex with the lights on, and take time to admire your own body in action. This is not totally self-absorbed, it’s healthy and good for everyone. You could even try naked yoga. I have not gone that far, but it doesn’t mean you can’t surpass me. Go ahead, I dare you, surpass me!

Kate Fridkis is a Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast who writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

(Source: thefrisky.com)

Package deal: Injections make penis grow, study finds

Does penis size matter?

A group of researchers from Korea University apparently believes it does, considering they discovered a way to make it happen 

They recently published a study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine that analyzed how injections of a hyaluronic acid filler (Restylane Sub-Q) could increase penile girth.  These physicians injected an average of 20.5 cc (about  two-thirds of a medicine cup) using “a back-and-forth technique” into the deep soft tissue layers of the penises of 50 men.  The product was then ‘homogenized with a roller.’

The men’s penises had an average increase in circumference (girth) of 4 cm, which was maintained 18 months later.  They also assessed the patient and partner’s satisfaction with the treatment and found an average score of 3.3 (rated from 0-4) at 18 months.   Sounds like a nice result, right?  Keep in mind these patients underwent injections into their penises with relatively hefty needles.  Ouch.

So what is the average, less-endowed man to make of this?

Until now, methods to enhance penile size have been ineffective at best and extremely invasive at worst.  There is a plethora of creams, pills, and vacuum devices that promises to enlarge the penis, although very little scientific evidence is available to support these claims.  More impressive results can be obtained by invasive surgeries.  These procedures are not for the squeamish, however.  One surgery to widen the penis involves cutting it open and implanting radiated cadaver skin around the central shaft.  Think this is extreme?  Some doctors lengthen the penis by cutting the suspensory ligament and then attaching a weight to the end of the penis daily.  For six months.  (Do not try this at home.)

So, taking into account these invasive surgeries, using a needle to inject filler into the penis doesn’t sound quite so bad.  Still, what would I recommend as a board-certified plastic surgeon to anyone who wants to make their manhood appear larger? 

There is one method that most men can utilize to accomplish this goal.  This treatment involves no risks, no side effects, no needles, and no knives.

Lose weight. 

Removing fat from around that area can make what’s left look bigger.

More great reads from The Body Odd:

 Roller coaster ride linked to young man’s stroke

Moving in synch makes people think alike

Powerful people tend to overestimate height

Dr. Anthony Youn is a Michigan-based, board-certified plastic surgeon and regular contributor to msnbc.com and TODAY.com. Youn, who runs the blog Celebrity Cosmetic Surgery, is also the author of a memoir called “In Stiches.” Read an excerpt here.

Want more weird health news? Find The Body Odd on Facebook.

The Eight Degrees of Singlehood: Where Do You Fall On the List?

“So, are you single?” It’s a question we expect people to have one of two answers to: Yes, or no. You’re either single or you’re not.

But what about all the various degrees of singlehood? Some single people I know haven’t been on a date in years; others are on a date every night; still others haven’t officially declared themselves paired off, but spend most of their free time with the same person. Where do you fall on the spectrum?

1) The Single Still Mourning Their Last Relationship

Your last relationship was a doozy: a Nicholas Sparks-worthy tale of passion, love, and resentment. You might feel like you need a few years to tend to your depleted emotional wells after that break-up. In the meantime, you may find yourself half-heartedly dating, but your heart’s just not into it yet. Instead, you’d rather talk about your last relationship to your (very patient) friends. Don’t worry — we’ve all been there.

Related: 15 Perks to Being Single

2) The Single Who Is Painfully Aware of Being Single

You see yourself as being single above everything: in your mind, it’s your defining characteristic. You’ve started to fixate on the couple sitting in front of you at the movies, rather than on the movie itself. Maybe you resent your paired-up friends. Maybe you start to avoid the topic of dating altogether. You start to feel like the prospect of dating is hopeless — and it will be, unless you turn your attitude around, and start seeing yourself as a person, not just a single person.

3) The Single Who Is Eternally Single (And Content With It)

Work life? Check. Friends? Check. Cool hobbies, interests, clothes, apartment? Check, check, check, check. You seem to have everything in your life, except, for some reason, a relationship.

There’s no good reason why you’re single, that’s just how things sort of are for you right now. Maybe you go on some dates now and then, but for the most part, you find yourself happily settled into your solo routines and habits. Someday, you might make room in your life for a relationship, but for now, it’s not a priority.

Related: Your Friends Know Why You’re Single. Do You?

4) The Newly Single Person Who Doesn’t Really Mind Being Single

Ah, single again. Well, no big deal: you know the routine. For you, being single is just a time to recalibrate after a relationship. Hang out with friends more, start that project you’ve been putting off, get back to the gym.

After all, it’s sort of nice to be on your own for a while! To have quiet nights in by yourself, and wild nights out with your friends.  You totally appreciate the positive side to being single, which is good, because you’re usually not single for long.

5) The Single Person Who Loves The Thrill 

Single? Of course you’re single. You wouldn’t dream of  being tied to just one person, not when dating is this exciting!

The thrill of the chase, the butterflies, the flirting: you are good at the dating game, and you know it. Maybe someday you’ll settle down, but not while you’re having so much fun.

Related: Don’t Look for the Right Person — Become the Right Person

6) The Single Headhunter

There is an opening in your life, and you’re looking to fill the position of Significant Other ASAP. You take a serious, almost business-like approach to finding a partner (which doesn’t mean you don’t have fun on dates!). You date consistently, and use any method available to you to find dates, whether it’s getting set up by friends, dating online, or meeting people in bars. You’re not willing to waste your time right now on someone who you don’t think has long-term potential, so it’s a lot of first dates with no follow-up. Yeah, it’s been frustrating, at times, but whatever: you’re not easily daunted. And you know that when you set your mind to something, you usually get what you want.

7) The Single Who’s Suddenly Sewing (Oats)

You probably spent your formative years A) completely following the rules at all times, or B) in a serious, long-term relationship. In other words, you’re ready to make up for lost time.

Like a marooned desert wanderer upon reaching an oasis, you have an appetite for dating that can not be easily sated. Drinks with this person, dinner with that person, and text-flirting all night with a third. This is the first time in your life that you’ve felt so sexy and capable, and you’re drunk with power.

The thing is though, you actually want to settle down, and see it in the not-so-different future. So with every flirt-text, you’re measuring someone’s capabilities as a potential partner. But you’re not going to settle for just anybody, and until you find the right somebody, you’re going to make your dating life as exciting as you possible can.

Related: 9 Things to Do When Someone You Like Friends You On Facebook

8) The Single Who’s Not Really That Single

Yeah, technically you’re not dating someone, and your Facebook status might proudly say “Single.” But secretly, you’re completely wrapped up in someone else, and you’re not really interested in playing the field. Whether this is an unrequited love that you can’t seem to let go of, or an on-going “maybe we will, maybe we won’t” dalliance, calling you “unattached” is an affront to people who are actually single. This neverland of singlehood is not a good place to hang out in for too long, so either make the leap with the person you’re into, or let them go for good. You’ll probably be happier in the longrun.

10 Reasons To Love Small Boobs

I like boobs. I’m a straight woman, but really, who doesn’t appreciate them? Robots. Reptiles. Sauron. That’s about it. And I’m not even positive about Sauron. He might have, at some point, before he was all disembodied. Breasts are awesome. As feminist writer Gail Collins said in her New York Times piece, “Everybody likes breasts — infants, adults, women, men. Really, it’s America’s most popular body part.” But sometimes it seems like we only get to talk about how awesome certain kinds of boobs are. The ones that are bold, perfectly round, Sports Illustrated-style, belonging to Christina Hendricks, full, plush, generous, prominent, and just generally big.

Those words do not describe my breasts, but I like mine anyway. For some reason, I never learned to be ashamed. I listened to my brothers (and the world) make enthusiastic comments about well-endowed women, and, although I had a few moments of “Seriously, God? Where’s the rest of my chest? YOU FORGOT SOMETHING,” I grew up generally liking the way I looked. It could be that there’s something wrong with my brain. But I think it’s more likely that small boobs are pretty great. Here’s why.

1. They are cute. They just are. They look friendly and happy and sweet.

2. You can wear something really low-cut. I don’t dare, because I am scared of things no one should be scared of and also freakishly modest. But in theory, you can. And you probably should, if you have small boobs. Just to do it.

3. You don’t look “slutty,” necessarily. Sluttiness is a dumb concept. No one should be thought slutty at all, because it’s just dumb. And certainly no one should be thought slutty based on the basic shape of her body. But it happens. When my large-breasted friends walk down the street in a parka and plaid overalls and clumpy work boots, they get uninvited attention of a sexual nature, because of their breasts. I know, because all of my large-breasted friends wear that outfit, all the time. But to my point: I wear that same thing, and I get no attention at all. Which is nice. And then I wear a scandalously sexy, skin-tight outfit, and I also get no attention! I’m kidding. What I mean to say is, people say, “Oh, that looks nice! You’re so elegant.”

4. You can look elegant pretty easily. See above.

5. The nipples are showcased. And nipples are interesting. I don’t want to say much more about nipples, because it makes me feel awkward and inappropriate. But I think they’re pretty. OK, that’s it.

6. You can sometimes go braless. I went through a phase, last summer, where I did this, and it was incredibly fun and exhilarating. I felt free. I felt daring. I felt like yelling, “Hello, New York City! I’m not wearing a bra!!” But I didn’t, and then I felt like it was this sexy secret that everyone was probably whispering about. They definitely weren’t, but I talked about how empowered I was with my friends, a lot, and that was nice. After wearing a bra for approximately half my life, it was shocking to realize that actually, it was sort of optional. And then I got stuck in this freezing cold restaurant at a party for like four hours, and carried on a lot of charming little conversations with my arms crossed over my chest. So I’m not ready to give up on bras completely. But I still stand by my right to occasionally go boldly without.

7. You can wear a strapless dress without it being a big deal. I will do this, after I stop being really scared of what will happen if I lift my arms up. Which I need to do all the time– as we all do. My wedding gown was strapless. But that was more because all wedding gowns are strapless, and I had no choice. Still, it was empowering. I know I can do it again, some day, if I keep my arms down.

8. You can do yoga without even noticing them. I like not having to think about my breasts when they’re not playing an important role in whatever’s going on. Like if I’m jogging (which I almost never am, but it’s happened once or twice). Or if I’m playing a sport (ping pong), or if I need to be upside down at any point.

9. They don’t sag. I kinda don’t want to brag about the whole “they don’t sag!” thing, because it sounds more like an insult to big breasts and older women than a compliment to smaller ones and younger women. I’m also not sure I want to unquestioningly support firm perkiness. Last time I checked, breasts were made out of fat, and fat is squishy. And while I do have one friend with mysteriously perky natural boobs, and they are indeed spectacular, they are also the exception. And softness is really nice. Sagginess probably just means you’re older than 35, and some day I too hope to be older than 35. So instead of all that– how about #9 is “They feel good.” People don’t spend enough time talking about how nice small breasts feel. Sometimes I catch myself just feelin’ mine up. It’s sort of comforting. That is maybe the weirdest thing I’ve admitted to on the internet. They fit nicely in the hands. They are like little pillows of happiness.

10. Not to be sappy, but they do the really important stuff. They feel good when they’re played with. They have the ability to provide milk for a baby, which is badass. They’re womanly and pretty. They’re often charming in profile. And even though all of those things are true for big boobs, too, small boobs do it with their own special style. They do it while being awesome for all of the other nine reasons. They might be in a strapless dress while doing it. You never know. Small boobs are full of surprises.

Kate Fridkis is a Brooklyn-based columnist, freelance writer, and bagel enthusiast who writes the blog Eat the Damn Cake. You can follow her on Twitter at @eatthedamncake.

(Source: thefrisky.com)

Female Sexual Dysfunction Advocacy Sheet

At some point in a woman’s life she may experience female sexual dysfunction. It is marked by a woman’s inability to be aroused or maintain arousal, pain during intercourse, inability to orgasm, and low sex drive. Female sexual dysfunction oftenoccurs following a period of hormone flux, such as after delivering a baby or during menopause. Symptoms can be caused by psychological conditions like anxiety, or physical conditions such as arthritis, urinary or bowel difficulties, and persistent headaches, among other things.

Your sexuality is integral to your overall well-being, so it’s important to take care of any difficulties you may be having. Symptoms can lead to depression (causing a cycle), or can cause disruption in your relationship. If you are experiencing female sexual dysfunction the good news is that most cases are highly treatable, so you should definitely talk with your doctor. Here are some questions to ask:

• What may be causing my sexual difficulties? You may already have a pretty good idea, or the doctor may be to help shed some light on what could be going on by asking questions. You may have trouble talking about sex with your doctor, but it’s important for your treatment success to be prepared to answer the following questions:

    - What problems are you currently experiencing?
    - How much do these problems bother you?
    - How satisfied are you with your current relationship?
    - When did you first become sexually active?
    - Do you become aroused during sexual interactions with your partner?
    - Are you able to experience orgasm?
    - If you’ve had orgasms in the past, what were the circumstances?
    - Do you experience any pain with intercourse?
    - Are you using any form of birth control? If yes, what form?
    - What medications are you taking, including prescription and over-the-counter drugs as well as vitamins and supplements?
    - Do you use alcohol or recreational drugs? How much?
    - Have you ever had surgery that involved your reproductive system?
    - Have you been diagnosed with any other medical conditions, including mental health conditions?
    - Have you ever been the victim of sexual violence?

• Do I need any medical tests? Your doctor may perform a pelvic exam to make sure there isn’t a physical reason for your difficulties. A counselor or therapist may be able to help get to the bottom of underlying psychological barriers to intimacy.
• What treatment approach do you recommend? Many factors contribute to sexual effectiveness, so a multi-faceted approach may help. Your doctor can help you find the solution that’s right for you, possibly including medication, hormone therapy, counseling/therapy, and/or developing alternatives for increasing sexual intimacy with your partner/spouse.
• If you’re prescribing medication, are there any possible side effects? Some anti-depressants and other medications could have sexual side effects. Talk with your doctor if you suspect something may be affecting your libido.
• How much improvement can I reasonably expect with treatment? Chances are, your treatment will be a process and will not change overnight. You should give it time, and do all you can at home to help things along so you can reach your goals.
• Are there any lifestyle changes or self-care steps that may help? Doctors recommend limiting alcohol use and quitting smoking, both of which can have sexual side effects. It also is important to follow a healthy lifestyle of eating well and exercising regularly.
• Do you recommend therapy? Counseling can also help youwork through any psychological difficulties you may be having.
• Should my partner be involved in treatment? It may be a good idea to include your spouse in your treatment where applicable—your recovery is important to him/her, too. And work with him/her toward finding other ways, at least for the time being, to help increase your bond, which should work to help your sexual intimacy later on.
• Are there any brochures or other printed material that I can take home with me? What websites do you recommend visiting? Your doctor can recommend his or her favorite websites for educating yourself, gaining support, and learning about alternative treatment options.

This information is not meant to be a replacement for talking with your doctor. Talk with your team of doctors to get the full picture for your particular case. 

Resources:
www.mayoclinic.com Female Sexual Dysfunction

Do you have a question about female sexual dysfunction? Check out EmpowHER’s page. Sign-up, post a question, share your story, connect with other women in our community and feel EmpowHERed!

Christine Jeffries is a writer/editor for work and at heart, and lives in a home of testosterone with her husband and two sons. Christine is interested in women’s health and promoting strong women.

13 Things To Do After Sex Besides Sleeping Or Cuddling

A new study done at University of Michigan explored people’s post-coital sleep behaviors. To cuddle or to sleep, that was the question. And who falls asleep first? And what does it say about the relationship? We say: Who cares? Who’s sleeping after sex? We wouldn’t dare nod off afterwards and waste the best moments of in life in soporific unconsciousness. Blasphemous! Not to mention boring! And cuddling? That’s for people who enjoy having their skin get stuck to another’s. Not us. There are way more interesting ways to spend post-sex moments. After the jump, some other things you can do after sex if you’re not the tired, spooning type of lover. 

1. Eat an entire pizza. Take advantage of this rare moment where you’re not worried if the bed gets messy. That means, food in bed! A nice, greasy pizza always hits the spot after a furtive f**k session. Don’t you think?

2. Clean. Don’t you have a crazy burst of energy right after sex? That makes it the perfect time to do chores you normally hate and do them with a smile. Like put all the laundry away or vacuum the living room or shred mail.

3. Return phone calls or emails. Since you’re already in bed and have nothing else to do and you’re not distracted by sexual fantasies for five minutes, might as well return phone calls or emails. Bonus: You have someone right there to read email drafts aloud to. Fun!

4. Cruise Facebook together and laugh about people’s lame status updates. This a wonderful form of bonding that involves no spooning whatsoever. After every status update, laugh conspiratorially with your sex partner. So and so is changing little Johnny’s diaper and we just f**ked like porn stars. Hahahaha! 

5. Do it again. Duh. Some of us don’t get it very often. Or have very high sex drives. Or both.

6. Shower together. Sex is a dirty business. Get the fluids off each other right away. You know as well as we do that showers lead to shower sex. (See # 5.)

7. Watch movies or bad Television. For some reason we always crave British comedies after sex, so there’s that. Or a good Lifetime movie or crappy reality show. Anything we can make witty commentary about together.

8. Play Scrabble. Never are you as focused or mentally alert as you are post-coitus. This is the right time to kick your man’s ass at Scrabble. Rack up points (and impress him) with like erotomania or pudenda.

9. Naked dance party. We just got laid! Let’s dance! Naked! To ’90s hip hop! On my bed! Until we are ready to f**k again! (See # 5.)

10. A post-coital recap. They do recaps during sports games … right? No reason not to do it after an amorous romp. Ex: “That was really hot when you put your #^(*%& in my #*^%*^% sideways. Next time if you come up the rear, we may be able score faster.” Maybe not that, but you get the point.

11. Workout sesh. Take advantage of the energy boost and hit the gym. Look at it this way: You’ve already done 30 minutes of cardio, so you’ve got a head start.

12. Do something creative. Draw, paint, write, play music, etc. Let the muse of sexuality work her magic on you. You just might not want to use the word muse in front of anyone. Unless you wear capes. In that case … go for it.

13. Take self portraits. No blush necessary. Gotta love that post-orgasm glow. You look hot right now and you know it. Memorialize this moment as it might be a while before you find yourself here again. Hopefully not too long.

(Source: thefrisky.com)

Sex: What goes on between the sheets?

‘We’re worried people are going to have to quit their jobs because they’re pleasuring themselves and each other so much,’ says Kristen Schaal, the US actress and comedian best known for playing Mel, the psycho stalker, from Flight Of The Conchords. The cause of her fears? A new book she and her boyfriend, Rich Blomquist, a comedy writer for TV show The Daily Show, have just unleashed. The pair (pictured below both with hairy chests to publicise the book) are hoping The Sexy Book Of Sexy Sex might just be sexy enough to kick the Kama Sutra off the top spot as the ‘go to’ sex manual. ‘It’s going to expose people to undiscovered heights of pleasure,’ boasts Blomquist. That claim may or may not be serious but what the book does do, in its comic, often filthy way, is get people talking about sex. And talking about sex is a good thing, says Schaal, who disagrees with the idea that people should automatically be great in bed together. ‘You need to talk about it in order to be good at it,’ she says. ‘Communication is really important – by any means, not just talking,’ Blomquist agrees. ‘Whether it’s semaphore flags or telegrams, any way you can expose your partner to more communication of what you want, then we would highly recommend it.’ Talking means communicating likes and dislikes, fetishes or anything else you might want to do in bed (or field, car, rooftop…). Should people be more open about what they want? ‘Anything goes, I think,’ says Blomquist. They also suggest sex can benefit from an injection of humour. ‘You should definitely lighten up in the sack,’ says Blomquist. ‘If you’re not laughing while having sex, you’re probably not having sex,’ Schaal agrees. Good sex can help make a relationship stronger; bad sex, too little sex or no sex can drive a wedge between a couple. But everyday problems such as busy work schedules, looking after children and stress mean life has a tendency of getting in the way. Just over 14 per cent of 35 to 44-year-olds said their sex life was ‘disappointing’ or ‘dull’ and one in five people aren’t having sex or have it less than once a year, according to a report from counselling service Relate. Talking is often the solution. But many couples find it difficult. So why is sex so scary to talk about? ‘It’s sharing part of yourself, so you have to be open to the idea of exposing your vulnerabilities,’ says Blomquist. Good sex doesn’t always come easy, says Schaal. ‘It’s something you have to work on. And you have to put some time aside to do it.’ Blomquist has an interesting solution. ‘In the hustle and bustle of modern life, sometimes people don’t always make time to sexually explore each other. You should have a scheduling system, preferably hung right over your headboard, with dates and times all arranged.’ So are Blomquist and Schaal leading by example? ‘Definitely,’ says Schaal. ‘It was hard for Rich and I to write the book because every time we had to type on the keyboard we ended up making love.’ The Sexy Book Of Sexy Sex (Hodder & Stoughton), £16.99, is out now.

(Source: metro.co.uk)

A Guide to Summer Flings

With the shedding of clothing and inhibitions, summer evokes spontaneity, and girls everywhere are hoping for a fun romance to last – at least until Labour Day. But not every summer fling is created equal. Here are four to consider. Just be sure to strike while the ladies are hot.

The Neighbour: With the winter chill thawed, the neighbour you only glimpsed through the shroud of a parka is suddenly a hot babe in tiny shorts. Your sleepovers will be tantalizingly convenient, booty calls as easy as borrowing eggs.
The Catch: Definite and routine awkwardness, alleviated only by moving.

The Rebounder: In the wake of spring breakup season, she’s newly single and wants to spend the long summer nights sleeping with you (or whomever, really) as a boost to her ego and antidote to her pain. Expect to be treated like a piece of meat – in a good way.
The Catch: She may drop you at any moment to reconcile with the ex.

The Foreigner: She’s visiting your city and craves an authentic cultural experience. Embrace the role of ambassador by showing her some Canadian hospitality – and teaching her those words she won’t learn at language school.
The Catch: Good chance she has a boyfriend back home.

The Friend: You swear it’s all platonic – until you get drunk at the cottage and go skinny-dipping. There’s nothing like the trinity of heat, booze and nudity to make you forget about that whole let’s-not-ruin-the-friendship thing.
The Catch: You’ll probably ruin the friendship.

(Source: dailyxy.com)

Booty Call Etiquette

Not a one-night stand, a fling or a relationship, the booty call can be a convenient way to get some regular action without all the muss and fuss of picking up strangers in bars. But this kind of “no-strings” casual sex can also be like a warm glass of milk -comforting, yet, left out too long unattended, it can sour. To avoid buggering up your booty-call set up, some booty-call basics:

Rule No. 1: “No strings” doesn’t mean, “no-strings until I decide I want more out of it.” Start thinking like that and you mess up the whole system.

Rule No. 2: If you’re out flirting with another woman, and your booty-call happens to show up, have a hand signal or code word that lets her know you’re closed for business tonight.

Rule No. 3: No guarantees. You can’t feel rejected if you run into your booty call and she a) doesn’t want to go home with you or b) wants to go home with someone else.

Rule No. 4: It’s to be expected in a purely sex-driven relationship that it’s when you’re all liquored up that you decide you’d like to get some. But calling drunk at three a.m. on a regular basis is rude and abuses your booty-call privileges. If you must, at least text.

Rule No. 5: No sulking or temper tantrums when she gets a real date.

Rule No. 6: No cuddling.

Rule No. 7: If you get a parking ticket while on a booty-call, the person who initiated the booty call should pay.

Considering all the rules, why bother? Because it gets bloody tiresome trying to find the kind of relationship you know you deserve. And sometimes, you just need something familiar to get you through the night.

(Source: dailyxy.com)

The Sounds You Make in Bed

Women like strong, silent men. These men tend to be patient, vigorous, intense and skilful with a hammer. Most importantly, though, they’re good listeners. And while we adore a man who lets us wax on about the impertinence of the checkout girl at the supermarket, or the latest tiff with our best friend, there is one place where his silence is not so golden: the bedroom. Here’s how to bring in ’da noise.

Be a caveman: The only thing worse than creepy silence is a high-pitched scream. Avoid both; instead, offer the occasional grunt and groan to give us the guidance we require. Just as women bask in the positive reinforcement of a random stranger’s compliment (like, “Great shoes”), a few strategic “Oh yeahs” will take you a long way.

Be general: When it comes to dirty talk, generic phrases are often safest. Don’t get too technical. This isn’t surgery.

Put a lid on it: Do not use baby talk, refer to yourself as Daddy, or tell us where you learned to do that. And please, stop asking us if we’re there yet.

Follow the leader: Always answer any question we ask you. If we’ve broached it, you can bet it’s something we want to hear about.

Be kind: When all is said and done, say something nice. Try complimenting the feel of our skin or the flush of our cheek. Remember: A few good words will get you everywhere. Then go right back to being strong and silent.

(Source: dailyxy.com)

Why Women Cheat

The notion that women are less inclined to cheat than men is as ridiculous as the idea that we don’t like sex as much as you. Truth is, we cheat. And we love sex. While DailyXY’s infidelity poll, conducted last month, shows most of you get that we’re equally capable of committing carnal crimes, perhaps you’ve yet to uncover the manifold reasons – which often transcend a simple desire for sex. Don’t be a cuckold; read this story to learn why women cheat.

Foreign Lands
Sexy accents – and the anonymity of booze-fueled adventures abroad – have an incredible capacity to induce impulsive indiscretions. Whether it’s a 20-something model on a Milanese dance floor or a Romanian farmhand in the barn, she’ll justify the romp as meaningless and assume you won’t find out. You probably won’t.

You’re Boring Her
…sexually. Perhaps you’ve fallen into a tedious missionary rut. Or maybe you’re bad in bed. Either way, if you’re not satisfying her, she’ll find someone who will.

Replacement Shopping
She’s afraid to be single, but wants out of your relationship. She’s seeking your replacement, aiming for a seamless transition into a new relationship. Get ready for the double whammy of emotional and sexual infidelity.

She’s Insecure
If she doesn’t trust that you’re committing, either emotionally or sexually, she may aim to protect herself by seeking attention elsewhere. If she senses your reluctance to invest in a future together, cheating is an attempt for her to gain some sense of security.

She’s a Nymphomaniac
Get her some therapy. Or just enjoy the ride as long as you can.